This week I helped launch the new bestselling book “Divorce: Taking the High Road”. Along with my co-authors, in the book I offer simple strategies for creating a healthy divorce – from staying out of court, to effective communication and decision-making during the divorce process, to moving on after divorce. The overarching theme of the book is how to maintain one’s dignity throughout the divorce and beyond. And each author provides practical, actionable steps to help you take the high road and create a healthy divorce.

Within our first week “Divorce: Taking the High Road” hit Amazon bestseller lists, including ranking #1 in the divorce and separation category!

Together with ten other top certified divorce coaches, we cover a wide variety of topics from multiple points of view. Tips cover everything, including:

  1. Don’t battle it out in court: Wanting to win at all costs and believing that you will find emotional justice in the courtroom usually cost much more than time and money!
  2. Avoid being bullied: Learn critical skills to help you communicate more effectively.
  3. Stop living in the past: Instead, see your divorce as an opportunity for transformative growth.

My chapter focuses on that last bit of advice. I go deep into the topic of what a divorce story is, and how it can keep you stuck, or with some clarity and work, they can set you free. The title of my chapter is “Shift Your Story – Change Your Life.” And it helps you to do just that!

The book is for anyone who is having a hard time in divorce, or difficulty with moving forward after the split. My chapter gives clarity about where you are stuck and offers a guide for how to move forward in the story of your life. Shifting your story is about changing your perspective from victim to hero/heroine, and regaining the control to create a joyful, positive life.

Ways to shift your own divorce story, include the following:

1. Write down your divorce story – don’t worry about editing, just write it free form.

2. Once you have it down on paper, read it over and answer the following questions:

  • Who is the star of the story? Is it your ex, or is it you?
  • What’s the most upsetting part of the story – what emotions do you feel?
  • Are there any themes to the story? Do you put emphasis on any particular part?
  • What’s triggering you in the story? What’s getting you emotional now?

3. Look for and identify the areas in the story where you had some responsibility.

4. What are some of the things you learned through your divorce?

5. How can you take what you are responsible for, and what you learned, and write a new story?

6. Edit the new story down to a one- to two-line statement. Brief, neutral or positive language, featuring you as the protagonist or star.

7. Burn the original story – let those old patters and language be released.

(For more information on divorce stories go to www.getting-unmarried.com, and download your own Divorce Story worksheet, complete with examples.)

Words are so powerful because they can shape our lives.

Working on the book project was tremendously rewarding. With my background in psychology, writing, and publishing, words have always fascinated me. Even as a small child I was fascinated with story; and since I could hold a pencil, I’ve written.

In my work as a divorce specialist, I use the divorce story to help my clients move forward in a clear, conscious, and compassionate way. I’m dedicated to helping my clients rewrite and recreate their “happily ever after.” This book (and this blog!) allows me to reach more people through writing.

Nothing gives me more joy than to help readers gain control over their stories, and ultimately their lives. The divorce story is a powerful tool for transformation. It is an honor to be able to share this work with so many readers.

Being a bestseller means we are reaching more people, and transforming more lives from overwhelmed and frantic, to centered and in control. To encourage you to be one of those lucky people, we are offering the ebook in Kindle version for just .99 cents for the first two weeks! To take advantage of the offer, please click here.

*We offer complimentary home evaluation sessions. Please contact us today to schedule your evaluation, or if you’d like a referral to a divorce financial professional.

**As ALWAYS, we recommend that you consult a divorce attorney, tax/financial expert, and/or other divorce-related professional for advice pertaining to your specific situation. With regard to asset (or personal property) division, financial or legal guidance, etc, please consult your legal/financial professional for personalized direction. The above is considered information only, and does not constitute specific or general legal/financial advice.